More than Stranded
I am feeling rather more than just stranded right now, more like abandoned and forgotten. My health has seemingly taken a turn for the worse again – not life threatening stuff, just a lot of pain. It is enough for me not to be able to get out. I had to miss church yesterday because of it. I know I have not been abandoned, my family loves me and cares for me, and God certainly is at work in my life. But still….
My feet have begun to hurt so bad that at times I scream in pain, even when I am not standing and walking. The pain prevents me from being able to sleep well and continuously through the night. My faux-heart attack pains have come and gone, my doctor did increase the dosage of a prescription that seems to be helping although it seems to be in the background threatening me, like a tiger in the grass ready to pounce. And it seems that I am still struggling with eliminating gluten from my diet. I can’t seem to find the source of it but the skin blisters keep appearing and spastic colon type symptoms keep doubling me over at times. The pain in my feet could be a result of the gluten too, but that has never been fully established.
Literally, what a pain! Obviously, this is affecting me emotionally. I haven’t felt like doing much of anything, I am gaining weight probably from inactivity, and even writing is rather bleh. My gluten intolerance is really getting me blue. I am almost getting to hate watching TV since there are so many commercials that promote food I can’t eat and really, really would like to – that Big Mac commercial is really getting to me. As much as I would like to go out to eat with Joy, I completely dread it.
And so I write this as a weak attempt at defiance against how I am feeling. Here are my goals.
- Clean up the kitchen pantry examining each item to make sure there is no potential for gluten. Then start cooking really good food so going out to eat isn’t an issue.
- Keep active as best I can in service at Flatland Church. I don’t want to miss any more services. Maybe if I am seeing I am not going to be able to sleep Saturday night, stay awake until after the first service and then collapse to sleep on Sunday afternoons?
- Walk or maybe ride my bike despite the pain – I need to get some exercise even if it is only 5 minutes at a time. This is very important but it could very well be the most difficult.
- Refocus on my rewrite of my website framework from procedural code to OOP, try to finish it. Gonna pull out my GTD software and work out what I am going to do to get things done.
- Write at least two blog posts a week
- And most importantly, Rest in God. This means read and meditate on His Word, pray, praise, and serve.
I am not really stranded much less abandoned. I have places to go, things to do, family and friends to love. I may not feel like it right now but feelings are fleeting, truth is eternal.